cozier with jacey: planting seeds & trusting the process

hiii homebuddies!!

💭 what i've been thinking about...

i'm sitting down to write this month's newsletter after just finishing my october reflection (lmk if you guys want my monthly reflection template!). i'm so glad i started doing this a few months back because it really helps you to zoom out and have more perspective on how things are going.

i was reading through my september reflection earlier, and so many of the things i was struggling with then feel like they're in a better place now. when you're in a hard season, it can feel like it's going to last forever - like you'll never feel good again. i've been dealing with some challenging health stuff these past few months, and there were days where i genuinely felt like i could not get through the day. but lately i feel like the tides are turning!!! i'm having more good days than bad, and feeling more like myself again.

one of the biggest changes i noticed has been feeling more connected. in september (probably bc i wasn't feeling well), i was feeling pretty isolated and wasn't making a lot of social plans. but in october, i felt like that completely shifted. for the first time in a while, i feel like i'm building friendships that i feel genuinely excited about. making friends as an adult can be hard - i actually came across this research that said it takes about 200 hours to become best friends with someone. TWO HUNDRED HOURS! when we meet new people, i think we can be so impatient - we want that deep closeness right away. but it's like anything worthwhile (working out, learning an instrument, building a creative practice) - in the beginning it feels hard, but the work you’re doing is like planting seeds in a garden. for a while, you might not see any blooming, but there is magic happening under the surface!

💭 what i'm working on…

something i'm still navigating is the self-editor voice that's been creeping back in. it's making it harder to write scripts for videos or even just articulate what i want to say sometimes. i'll sit down to write or film and suddenly every word feels wrong, or i'll write a sentence and immediately want to delete it. it's like there's this critical voice in my head questioning every creative choice before i even have a chance to see where the idea goes. i'm trying to be patient with myself and experiment with some different techniques on how to bypass that “censor” voice (julia cameron talks a lot about this!) & just allow my ideas to come through in a more free-flow way. lmk if you guys have any tips on this!

❣️ what i'm loving lately…

📚 reading: I FINALLY finished the stormlight archives!!! if you've been following along, you know this series has been like 70% of my personality for the last two years. wowww what an amazing series - probably my favorite i’ve ever read. now i've started "The Friends" by Fredrik Backman and i am absolutely loving it so much. i feel like it’s hard to get into a new book after being in a specific fantasy world for a while, but immediately i was so captivated by his writing style! i’m loving it so far.

🎵 listening: sooo much Olivia Dean. one of my best friends showed me her two years ago and i have loved her ever since! my favorite songs from this album are baby steps, a couple minutes, and lady lady. send me some fave songs you have been loving!

🎮 playing: honestly haven't been playing video games as much lately, which feels kind of strange for me! i'm on the hunt for a new game to hyperfixate on - if you have any cozy game recommendations, please send them my way!!

🎨 creating: i have a new youtube strategy that i am SO excited about!! i feel like i was creating a bunch of different types of videos to see what worked best, but i felt like it needed a bit more structure to really let me test an idea before switching to something else. i’m really focused on overcoming perfectionism, psychology + what living a slower, less achievement focused life looks like….i can’t wait for you to see the videos i’m working on!

🤳 coming soon: speaking of youtube, i just posted a new video about the real reason why you’re exhausted. in the video i explore the good kid effect: a hidden pattern that makes high-functioning, self-aware people run themselves into the ground. i show you exactly how it works, and the 10 subtle ways it’s showing up in your life right now (things you probably don’t even realize are draining you!!) this is a new format - so i’d loveee to hear your feedback to make the videos even better for you guys!

✨ monthly wins

something i've been noticing is how easy it is to have a negativity bias when reflecting on a month. i'll be going through my days thinking "ugh this month wasn't good, xyz happened" and then when i actually sit down and write out my wins, i'm like... wait, this month was actually amazing??? there's something really powerful about intentionally looking for what went well instead of just focusing on what was hard. so here are some of mine from october:

• going back to therapy! i took most of the summer off and i definitely felt the difference 😅 it feels so good to get back into a regular rhythm with it

• finding a new doctor that i feel hopeful about to support me with some of my health challenges!!

• trying lots of experimental things for my luteal phase this month, i’ll keep you posted but so far i think it’s working???

• feeling more like myself again

• having my best month of the year financially!!

• sleeping really well! this time last year i was really struggling with insomnia so i’m so grateful to be in a period of good sleep

• the new friends i’ve been making and spending time with! this has been bringing me so much joy

• not feeling as much health anxiety this month - i felt more resilient and less consumed by it

• letting people help more! i felt very resistant to getting any help with my videos for a while, but this month i have been working with an editing team and they have been making my life so much easier!

i would really encourage you to try this too! take a second and think about your wins from this past month, even the tiny ones. and feel free to send some back to me so i can celebrate you!! i'd love to hear what's going well in your world 💛

💓 gentle reminder

if you're in a hard season right now - whether it's your health, your friendships, your creative work, or just life in general - i want you to know that it won't feel this way forever. i know that's hard to believe when you're in it (trust me, i felt this way literally last month), but things really do get better.

give yourself permission to be patient. with your healing, with your friendships, with your creative process, with everything. think of it like planting seeds in your garden!!! you're not behind. you're right where you need to be.

thank you for being here in this cozy corner of the internet with me!! you mean more to me than you could ever know!!!

stay cozy & be gentle on yourself!!!!

jacey 🤍